Starting from the begining of your marriage.. planning your wedding is the start!

This flower is found in two places- by volcanoes and by the beach of Hawaii.

You do you remember that exciting feeling  you had when the person you love just asked you if you will spend the rest of your life with them. How anxious were you when he proposed and when you said "YES!" The shocked look that was on his face. He thought you were going to say no and instead you said yes. Do you remember, before you started planning your elegant wedding, why you said yes? It is probably because you want to spend the rest of your life with him. And why do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?  You must respect him and his ideas, because he has great ideas- he did after all ask you to marry him. What a great idea!

During this time of planning when you have been unsure of what color or type of flowers you like and you are finding yourself changing your mind, often. You found yourself not being able to make up your mind on whether it should be a sit down or buffet style. So why have you not asked you fiance'? Have you tried asking your now fiance'? Yes, the same one who asked you to spend the rest of your life with him.

Now I understand that some decisions are based on what you can afford, but if you are not in that predictment and you cannot decide then seek your fiance's advise.

Believe it or not, your future husband and men in general, are pretty well equipped on making the final decision. Men also do not get bogged down to all the tiny details as we do. So their decision making will be broader and best in selection of  vendors, food and the drinks. The ceremony is for the bride but the reception is the party for the groom...at least that is what he thinks.

Most men will base their decision on something that will make his future wife happy. They seek that approval from you. Allow him to have input, encourage it, praise him for it and let him know how happy you are from it. Let him know you are glad that he is someone you can respect because he not just thinking of himself, but instead thinking of his future family.What you are doing here is encouraging participation, team work, a very strong sense that he is valued by one of the most important person in his life,YOU and he will want to continue to do it.

Now will you say Monica I have "tried" and he does not say anything or he brushes me off or you have received a negative response,I want you to try a technique called the Oreo cookie compliment. It is a method past on from woman to woman for generations and maybe it goes by a different name but the method you will recognize.

This method allows you to compliment him, then give the suggestion or ask the question etc.., and then add another compliment. Scenario " Honey you have a great eye for details, can you tell me which shade of pink is better, I am not sure and you are so good at seeing it".  Did you pick that up? Also remember to check yourself. Have you been the woman who constantly disagrees with whatever he suggests? Have you asked and then throw the suggestion to the way side? If you are guilty of this then you are only getting back what you have done. So stop it and start complimenting.

I was definitely guilty of that and reaped it big time. I have used the Oreo cookie compliment and it has worked and better yet he does it to me, but I get the compliment and the acknowledgement and more over the support and team work of my husband. I do not feel alone in all of the decision making. That burden is shared.

Men require respect and they require for their life mate to be the most supportive person in their life. Women, we require love, whatever love is for you. So you have to be their cheerleader so to speak. Once you start showing your appreciation, a wonderful thing will continue to happen. He will constantly and consistently do it and you will be stress free to plan your dream wedding. He WILL back you up, be supportive of you, because he REALLY wants to make you happy.

Key points to remember is- one- he is not your child, so don't treat him as such. Two- allow him to be human, he will make mistakes. Three- most decisions with the all information given, will probably be made with your happiness in mind.

When you listen and trust your future husband's decision for your wedding details you begin a wonderful process of working together. You have turned that I, ME or MINE syndrome to a WE, US,OUR syndrome. And is that not a better syndrome to have?

Beside his decisions cannot be all that bad. He did chose you to spend the rest of his life with.

Great decision dude...keep it up.

Although they are separated by circumstance when placed together they work in beautiful harmony!