The Secret to a Happy Marriage

Photography by Christopher Vlaun- Pastor Carlos DeJesus

by Julie Hanks, LCSW, for Sharecare
Are you empathetic? Is your partner? It might be the secret to a happier marriage. According to a recent study from Harvard University, being able to accurately read a partner's emotions--and believing that your partner is trying to understand your emotions--is related to couple relationship satisfaction.
This study highlights certain gender differences that echo dynamics I've seen in my clinical practice and in my 23-year marriage:

1. Women are more satisfied in their relationship if their partner accurately empathized with negative emotions.
2. Men were more satisfied when they could read their partner's positive emotions accurately.
3. Women's ability to read their partner's negative emotions was positively linked to both men's and women's relationship satisfaction. 

The authors suggested that for men, being able to understand and be empathetic to their partner's negative emotions may feel threatening to the relationship, but women don't seem to find negative emotions threatening. Findings suggest that effort, not just accuracy, positively impacts relationships.

Developing Empathy If your relationship is distressed or if you simply want to make a good relationship better, here are some ways to work on your empathy skills.
Listen for emotional messages The emotional message isn't the same as the words that your partner is saying. Your partner may be criticizing you for not spending enough time together, but the emotional message may actually be, "I miss you and I'm afraid I'm not important to you."
Push the pause button on your own emotions When your partner is expressing something critical, it's easy to respond defensively. Before reacting, take a deep breath and try to slow down your own emotional response so you can hear the emotion behind the criticism.
Reflect back your partner's emotional plea Instead of coming back defensively with, "What are you talking about? We just went on a walk yesterday, and we went to dinner last weekend!" respond to your partner's emotional plea by saying something like, "You really miss me and want to spend more time together. Thanks for letting me know. I love you."
Even if you read the emotional message inaccurately, your effort to understand your partner's emotions will pay off!

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/empathy-secret-sauce-happy-marriage-044200327.html

Questions you need to ask before getting married- Asking the Officiant

Infinity Weddings & Events, LLC, of South Florida

786-427-5360

I met a wonderful couple at Starbucks on SW 8th Street. I realized that they had very few questions as to what to expect from their officiant. I mean after all, a notary or officiant is the 3rd most important person in the wedding, besides the bride and groom.

They did have some basic questions-such as,how much do you cost, are you available. This had me thinking that there are more questions one should have when you are hiring the one person you have to have for your wedding.
So I decided to compile a list that you can use to help you select the person who will make your marriage legitimate.

If you want to get married in a church or a place:

~If I am not a member of your congregation, will I need to join?

~If yes, what do we need to do to be members?

~If I chose to marry at a different site, will you perform the service?

~What, if any, denominational regulations or traditions will I need to adhere to?

~Is there a premarital program that I will need attend?

~How long is the program and how much does it cost?

~Will there be any other ceremony after?

~ Any restrictions regarding, Candles or special lightning, flowers or decorations, dress, music, petals, rice, bird seeds?

~Will parking spaces be available?

~Is there a church fee/ donation?

~Can we have it in another language?

General questions to ask from any officiant:

~Will I be allowed to edit or create my own vows?

~How long will the ceremony last?

~What time would the vendors be able to come and set up?

~How many times will we need to meet before the actual day?

~Will you be present for the rehearsal?

~Is there an extra charge? What is it?

Of course add more questions as needed, but this should get you on the right path.
Remember when you are getting married you need the bride, the groom and the person to marry you.

Infinity Weddings and Events, LLC, of South Florida

                             786-427-5360 

We have been providing our brides and grooms with high end chic weddings since 1995!

Providing a full array of services from Officiating, to full catering service, rentals and vendor referrals, we are poised to make your wedding the elegant one that everyone will be talking about!

CALL TODAY!